i think way to much

have you ever had a dream that you felt you had already dreamed before, but then again..not really? deja vu. it's so eerie to me. i don't even think i can remember the dream to tell you what it was about, but when i woke up i knew whatever it was i dreamed, i had dreamed of it before. that didn't quite roll off the tongue smooth did it?


isn't that just weird. and why is it the moment i wake up, poof its gone! where did it go, and why can't i remember it? does God mean for me not to remember it? is it kind of like the after affects of childbirth, where your not suppose to remember the pain? its like you remember, but you don't. you can see it deep inside your mind, but you can't quite get the right words out to explain it to yourself or someone. the unexplained has always fascinated me. i wanna know why!


i bought a book a few months ago, its called the dictionary of dreams. at the beginning of the book, it explains what dreams are, which are hallucinations they say. really? ok. i guess that makes sense, kind of. then it proceeds into the different stages of sleep.. and let me tell you it is some kind of equation! im not going to go into all that because well, it just makes me want to cut my finger off.. so google it if you must because it's just too psychological for me to explain.

this is my copy but they come in different covers!

anyway, in this book it has pretty much any kind of dream you can imagine dreaming. so for instance, if you dreamed of falling, you would look under the f's and it would tell you why you dreamed of falling. or if you dreamed of a tomato it would tell you why you dreamed of a tomato, you get the point right? and yes, tomato is really in there. it's pretty cool but most of them tell you reasons you had already guessed, so it's not like it's a big suprise. oh, that's why i dreamed that!


i keep that book on my night stand, just in case i need it. it comes in handy, sometimes. kind of like my security blanket, because i have bad dreams, alot. and i don't like sleeping alone, never have because im scared of the dark, betcha didn't know that huh!


 i love quirky books.


today was ehh.. okay i guess. since i didn't have to work today, i had to find something to do and boy did i!


i went shopping and i did okay until i went in janie's pastry shop. just when i was bragging about how good i was doing on watching my spending.. i buy a 20 dollar italian creme cake. the sad part is, it wasn't even that good. i was not impressed at all. i felt like someone popped my balloon.

it looked great sitting on that shelf next to the red velvet cake and german chocolate cake.. but after i took a bite, i could hear my taste buds laughing and pointing in disgust. really, i thought janie's pastry cakes were the bomb.com? fonies. 


but i did make the lady write my name on the cake, i mean if im going to pay 20 dollars for a cake, its going to at least have my name on it! the lady was like, "you don't want happy birthday on the cake?" my reply: "no thanks, im just awesome".


brillant.


so, when i get home this afternoon i turn on the tube, and what is on? "after armageddon" on the history channel, and if you can imagine its kind of out there. i changed it real quick at first, but then i got curious so i turned it back. nothing else was on anyway. and those kind of shows scare me, because its real and possible.


it was explaining how the world would be after everything was gone pretty much. things like water and gasoline would be crucial to one's survival. people would literally be killing each other to survive, its crazy. but if you think about it, that's how the world would be in that kind of epidemic. that's how the world is these days. not saying all of our world has gone to crap, but most of it has. but just think back how our world was during hurricane katrina! people were fighting each other for gasoline, and stealing from grocery stores! 




sometimes we don't lend a helping hand or spare a piece of our loaves of bread like jesus did with the 5,000. it's sad, but it's true. so what would we do, if we had to chose between our survival or someone else's??




would we share our precious goods with our fellow men, or would we keep them for ourselves? it would be a hard decision, no doubt in that particular situation. you think, oh of course i would.. but im sure it's not that easy to say once your in those shoes.


lets face it, we're all human. it wouldn't be crazy of us to second guess things like that, because we are human. but we all have hearts, sometimes we just have to dig to reach it, but it's there, and if we dig just deep enough, we would make the right choice.